In a previous post I discussed some of the parameters governing intimacy and what is required for intimacy to develop and grow in a deeply loving relationship. In that post I mentioned the importance of trust as a foundation stone for intimacy to flourish and develop fully.
To develop true intimacy, requires being able to be yourself and trust your partner…to respect that trust… trusting that you are safe to be yourself, and to openly express how you feel…
It means taking responsibility for yourself, knowing that you’re in a safe and loving environment.
As a starting point consider for a moment your actions and expressions of love to your partner or loved one and his expressions of love to you… When was the last time that you went up to your partner and kissed him or her spontaneously? For no apparent reason…And in that moment told him how much you loved him?
That’s right for no reason at all… other than this is the person you love. And how would you rate that kiss?
Was that kiss – just a kiss on the cheek? Often referred to as a peck or a good, old passionate… 20 seconds or more…let me express how much I care about you kiss?
If the latter… Congratulations!
If not…What are you NOT saying or leaving to chance in your relationship each day?
And then let’s consider his or her reaction… How were you received?
Warmly? More cuddles? Or was the kiss light heartedly brushed off?
Being Free to Express Yourself Openly
It’s SO important in a relationship to develop and create an environment where you each feel free to express your feelings of who you really are and how you really feel… and to know that that expression will be warmly received and welcomed… Irrespective of how spontaneous or random that expression is…
I’m not saying that this is easy…but it IS worthwhile. And practiced regularly over time it does get easier.
Because developing this openness requires courage and a commitment to show your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths… And that in turn leads to a loving, very deeply, committed relationship.
Hardest of all it requires you to get in touch with yourself… To accept and love yourself… to express your inner most needs and fears.
Intimacy Develops Over Time
True intimacy doesn’t develop or happen overnight… It takes time. If nurtured and fostered it develops over time… For it to be fostered requires a commitment to grow together and in that growth foster an environment of warm, loving support and personal expression.
Genuine intimacy in a relationship develops and deepens over a period of time.
Learn to Love & Accept Yourself
True enduring love and intimacy requires you to love yourself first.
It has been shown that developing an intimate relationship with your partner is often thwarted by your childhood hurts that we unconsciously hold onto. And that until we can learn to trust ourselves and work through these wounds that true connection and intimacy with another person is challenging.
Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.
That means that you and your partner will have issues or areas on which you’ll have conflicting views. These are typically unresolved issues or lessons from childhood. Learning to deal with these issues in a constructive manner and trusting that your partner is there for you is important to the growth of your relationship.
Learning to deal with these issues in a loving non-threatening and supportive manner is a means of learning more about yourself, what makes your heart soar and your uniqueness as a loving person. These are gifts that when explored courageously provide a doorway to true intimacy and everlasting love.
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