How do You Create Intimacy When Your Relationship Seems to be on Rocky Ground?

Couple in bed, man sleeping woman looking at him feeling very frustratedIn several recent posts I have discussed how intimacy develops over time. And that the important ingredients for its foundation are honesty and openness – building a firm foundation of trust in one another.  That’s sounds easy but what if your relationship is on somewhat rocky ground? And what I’m talking about feels way out of your comfort zone…?

The first thing to ask yourself is ‘What happened?’ Where did things go awry? And why…?’Continue Reading

How to Share & Have Fun with Your Partner When the Activity Isn’t One You’re Fond Of …

Two colourful bikes outside a building Ever been on a date or an outing that your partner thought was so much fun and you did not? Or participated in an activity that to your partner was full of fun and laughter and you dreaded the prospect of ever having to do it again?

Or perhaps your partner has several fun activities that he likes to participate in regularly and is always eager for you to attend. And for you these activities hold little fun or enjoyment – so your presence is as an unwilling participant or onlooker.

And no doubt the same applies to you. That there are some activities that provide immense fun and pleasure for you that your partner does not share – and perhaps grudgingly participates in. Never as much fun is it, as when you’re both having fun together sharing an activity or interest?

Well there is a well-researched reason for these differences. It is now understood that different people derive fun from different activities or outings. And surprisingly enough it has NOTHING to do with the activity or outing itself but rather the TYPE of activity or outing.Continue Reading

What’s the Secret to True Intimacy & Everlasting Deep Connection? Open the Path to True Love

Beautiful Couple Smiling And Facing Each Other and looking into one another's eyes

Image by photostock courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

What’s the secret to true intimacy? A loving connection and a safe, supportive environment or haven wherein you and your partner feel free and encourage one another to be your true selves are important foundations to developing true intimacy. That may sound easy, but many relationships exist in less than safe or supportive environments.

And what if there’s been little intimacy to date….? Or being brutally honest there’s a sense of animosity between the two of you and negative communication patterns are the norm?

Is it possible to rekindle the love and deepen the connection under those circumstances and create true love and deep intimacy?Continue Reading

How Does Using Primary Representational Systems Improve Communication Effectiveness?

Macro of a beautiful eye

Image by m_bartosch courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

If you’ve ever stopped to listen to the way you speak, and in particular to the words you use

you’d notice that you tend to focus on one of the primary senses when you are referring to something. In other words that your language and the references you make tend to center on, or reflect one of the primary senses…. visual, audio or kinesthetic, or to a lesser extent gustatory and olfactory.

A common lesser known fact is that as individuals we each have what is referred to as a primary language or representational system that we resort to as a default mode or language choice. And as individuals when we communicate we use the vocabulary that reflects that primary language representational system.

The Three Primary Representational Systems
So for instance if your primary representational system is visual then you’re most likely to use words that describe what you observe and see.Continue Reading

Say No to Negativity & Criticism in Your Relationship & Watch Your Relationship Flourish

Youn couple having an argument Several posts ago I mentioned the importance of creating a negative free environment as a means for a relationship to develop and deepen in connection…

Agreeing to foster an environment with a zero tolerance for negativity or criticism is a powerful decision to make to ensure that your relationship has a solid foundation to grow and deepen in a very loving supportive manner. Continue Reading

Are you Playmates? Do You have Fun & Laugh Together? Powerful Ingredients in Loving

Couple having fun together on a balcony

Image by imagerymajestic courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

It’s well known that couples that have fun and laugh together… have the foundation for a healthy and solid relationship… one that is bound to deepen in love and connection to and for one another.

It’s clear to everyone that these couples have a sparkle in their relationship… that they enjoy being in one another’s company… But have you ever wondered why?Continue Reading

Are You Certain that Your Messages of Love Are Being Heard?

Young woman getting breakfast in bed and a large red gift box on the breakfast trayDid you know that we each have our own love language…? That there are in fact five unique or different love languages? And that in the absence of knowing the love language of your partner you run the risk of your messages of love and affection not being heard or worse entirely missed?

Yes that’s right. There are five unique languages of love. And each of us responds best to only one of these. In other words if we’re not spoken to in our unique love language we fail to hear the messages of love sent to us…

That’s a hard fact to appreciate isn’t it?Continue Reading

How do You Keep the Love in YOUR Relationship Alive & Sizzling?

Sadly many people believe that it’s challenging to keep the love in their relationship alive and sizzling. They expect the love to fade! And some Couple looking very affectionately at one another as they dance togetherbelieve that it’s only in new love by its very nature that the sparkle lives.

Not so! When you know what ignites the spark – mature relationships can be far deeper and more meaningful than ‘new love’ – reaching unparalleled levels of depth and devotion.

So what are the secrets of keeping your relationship alive and fresh and the love deeper than ever before?Continue Reading

Spice up Your Relationship with these Simple & Fun, Conscious Connection Practices

Young lovers walking down the streetIn an earlier post I outlined the role Dopamine and Serotonin play in experiencing the feelings of closeness and connection in the early phases of love. In that post I explained that it’s the presence of these love hormones that are responsible for how we feel, that ‘blinded in love’ feeling.

After this initial phase, there are two other hormones that are responsible for the love and connection experienced in the early years of partnership, Vasopressin, and Oxytocin. These two hormones are largely present in the early years, and remain so with couples who experience a healthy and satisfying sex life.Continue Reading