True Intimacy is Letting Someone Truly See You for Who You Are…

Stone statues of little boy and little girl about to kiss one another

Romance courtesy of pixabay

In a previous post I discussed some of the parameters governing intimacy and what is required for intimacy to develop and grow in a deeply loving relationship. In that post I mentioned the importance of trust as a foundation stone for intimacy to flourish and develop fully.

To develop true intimacy, requires being able to be yourself and trust your partner…to respect that trust… trusting that you are safe to be yourself, and to openly express how you feel…Continue Reading

Say No to Negativity & Criticism in Your Relationship & Watch Your Relationship Flourish

Youn couple having an argument Several posts ago I mentioned the importance of creating a negative free environment as a means for a relationship to develop and deepen in connection…

Agreeing to foster an environment with a zero tolerance for negativity or criticism is a powerful decision to make to ensure that your relationship has a solid foundation to grow and deepen in a very loving supportive manner. Continue Reading

Are you Playmates? Do You have Fun & Laugh Together? Powerful Ingredients in Loving

Couple having fun together on a balcony

Image by imagerymajestic courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

It’s well known that couples that have fun and laugh together… have the foundation for a healthy and solid relationship… one that is bound to deepen in love and connection to and for one another.

It’s clear to everyone that these couples have a sparkle in their relationship… that they enjoy being in one another’s company… But have you ever wondered why?Continue Reading

What is Intimacy? How Does it Develop & How Do You Keep It Alive? What a Question…

Head shot of young black couple laughing -clearly very connected and in love with one another I’m often asked, what is intimacy and why is it so important?

Intimacy is encapsulated by the emotional closeness you feel towards your significant other. It’s about being able to be yourself with your partner… rather than having to feel that you need to be on guard…or protect yourself.

True intimacy means being able to be free…To be yourself …To let your guard down, and let your partner know who you really are and how you really feel.Continue Reading

Are You Certain that Your Messages of Love Are Being Heard?

Young woman getting breakfast in bed and a large red gift box on the breakfast trayDid you know that we each have our own love language…? That there are in fact five unique or different love languages? And that in the absence of knowing the love language of your partner you run the risk of your messages of love and affection not being heard or worse entirely missed?

Yes that’s right. There are five unique languages of love. And each of us responds best to only one of these. In other words if we’re not spoken to in our unique love language we fail to hear the messages of love sent to us…

That’s a hard fact to appreciate isn’t it?Continue Reading

Do You Know What Happens When Your Tone & Your Words are Not Aligned?

Effective communication is important in a healthy loving relationship and to be effective in your communication means being congruent in all aspects of how you speak…

Young couple not hearing one another- woman with fingers in her ear, man yelling at her

Image by artur84 courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

Congruent between the message you’re sending, the words you’re choosing and your tone.

Ever witnessed an exchange between two people where there seemed to be a mismatch between the words uttered and the tone used? That that someone was mouthing let’s say sweet words but through clenched teeth and in an angry tone?Continue Reading

Improve Your Communication Effectiveness – Use Active Listening, Questions & Heartfelt Words

Effective communication is foremost about improving your ability to listen. That is actively or empathetically listening to one another and responding accordingly.

Blue bird whispering into a woman's earLearning to listen actively or empathetically is an important skill in improving your communication effectiveness and something that I urge all couples to learn how to do.

Active or Empathetic Listening
So what is active or empathetic listening…? Active listening is when you listen attentively, fully engaged… And in so doing become cognizant not only of the other person’s language and choice of words… but on hearing those words rather than assuming that through your own filters of experience and perception you’ve received the message intended, check in with the sender of the message…empathetic to their choice of words.

…So using the sender’s key words check in … to see that you’ve interpreted or received the message correctly… that the message received is in fact, the message intended.

Why Listen Actively In This Way?
It’s so easy to assume that we’ve heard what was intended and understand the message that was sent… Sadly this is rarely the case.

Actively or empathetic listening is a means of eliminating or reducing potential misinterpretations or misleading exchanges… because you’re checking in with the other person, the sender, clarifying that you’ve received the intended message.

It’s important to remember that we all use words differently, and while the words themselves may seem important… because we use that differently it’s very easy to misinterpret what the sender intended with those words.Continue Reading

How do You Keep the Love in YOUR Relationship Alive & Sizzling?

Sadly many people believe that it’s challenging to keep the love in their relationship alive and sizzling. They expect the love to fade! And some Couple looking very affectionately at one another as they dance togetherbelieve that it’s only in new love by its very nature that the sparkle lives.

Not so! When you know what ignites the spark – mature relationships can be far deeper and more meaningful than ‘new love’ – reaching unparalleled levels of depth and devotion.

So what are the secrets of keeping your relationship alive and fresh and the love deeper than ever before?Continue Reading

Don’t Let the Sexual Connection in Your Relationship Fade. An Active Sex Life is Healthy

‘Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ‘Yes’ is the answer’  Swami X

Newlywed couple enjoying sexual connectionThe elephant in the room for many relationships is sex…

Sadly this is one area of connection that many couples lose quite early on in their relationship… the busyness of life initially interferes with their having an active and fulfilling sex life, and then it all gets too hard.

Excuses take over and having a conversation about sex let alone initiating it becomes challenging!Continue Reading

Spice up Your Relationship with these Simple & Fun, Conscious Connection Practices

Young lovers walking down the streetIn an earlier post I outlined the role Dopamine and Serotonin play in experiencing the feelings of closeness and connection in the early phases of love. In that post I explained that it’s the presence of these love hormones that are responsible for how we feel, that ‘blinded in love’ feeling.

After this initial phase, there are two other hormones that are responsible for the love and connection experienced in the early years of partnership, Vasopressin, and Oxytocin. These two hormones are largely present in the early years, and remain so with couples who experience a healthy and satisfying sex life.Continue Reading