Keep the Sexual Connection Alive – A Reframe to Consider YES Power & the Importance of Sex

Man kissing his sleeping wifeI hear lots of women say that the sexual connection and intimacy in their relationship has faded or that they have lost the desire…are no longer inclined to engage in physical intimacy with their significant other as they used to be. As a result initiating sexual play and intimacy is seldom something that they engage in.

Or for whatever reason the sexual play and intimacy in their relationship has become somewhat of a chore rather than the fun and engagement that it used to be.

Sexual Intimacy is an Essential for Relationship Bliss

Sexual play and expression is an essential ingredient to having a healthy, deeply loving relationship and while men and women view the sexual connection in their relationship differently, expressing the sexual part of the relationship is an important element in deepening the relationship long term.

While sex is primarily a physical need for men, the desire for sex for women is emotionally triggered. Women connect emotionally having sex with their partner and without that emotional connection most women don’t feel inclined to connect sexually.

Given this it’s important as women to understand not only your own needs but how men and particularly your partner responds to sex and to appreciate how important the sexual component of your relationship is to him. And then with this awareness ensure that the intimacy needs of both of you are met.

An Amusing Metaphor

Not long ago, I was quietly amused by one of my clients, Anne who on learning that sex is a physical need for men and as basic or as primal to him, as her need for food and water pondered on what it might feel like when she told her husband…as she frequently did… that she wasn’t in the mood for sex.

Anne rethought this physical metaphor. And I loved her reframe…so much so that I thought it worth sharing with you.

With this new insight Anne was to say the least – aglow!

Sex for Anne had previously been a chore! Twice a month would have been fine for her. For her husband after 3 days of abstinence he was chomping at the bit…

Anne had, over her 20 plus years of marriage noticed that by day 3 if there was no sex her partner became in her words ‘a grumpy old cow’.

Sadly she’d put this down to being married for so long… She’d never connected his mood swings to his physical need for sex.

When Anne understood that her husband’s need for sex had a physical rather than an emotional trigger and that his mood swings were connected to her physical rejection of him, she had what I term a light bulb moment… and her attitude and behavior changed accordingly…

In her next session with me Anne was smiling. ‘I get it’ she said…

…’I don’t have to cook a gourmet meal every night, I just have to feed him… so a snack is ok and a regular meal is good and then every so often I can come out with the gourmet smorgasbord!’

‘I get it’ and as a result… Now… So does he…

After 20 plus years the grumps have gone and they’re more blissfully happy than ever before!

Sex! Not Important?

I’ve had women tell me that sex is not an important part of their relationship…

Don’t allow yourself to get into this way of thinking. It’s as important to your partner as breathing. Without it he loses life and vitality.

And when you appreciate this concept, regular and fulfilling sex will become an important part of your relationship… A key means to gaining deeper and more intimacy in your relationship overall…

So what if your partner has stopped initiating sex? Consider how you may have contributed to this… and look at ways to reignite the flame. Don’t dismiss this as being unimportant.

If you love cereal and there’s no cereal in the house, would you eventually resort to eating something else for breakfast?

If despite continual requests for cereal to be bought so that you could have it for breakfast wouldn’t you do one of two things? Stop requesting cereal for breakfast… Or go out for breakfast and order cereal when you’re out!

Now that’s a prospect no woman likes to consider…

So get cooking… Like Anne look at new ways to appreciate and to increase the sexual exchange and to enjoy the sexual intimacy together. And in the process have fun.

Schedule in time for sex – don’t wait for what might seem to be the most appropriate time.

And if scheduling in time for sex seems a little strange to you, please visit my recent posts when I explain the benefits in scheduling in time for sex.

Found this post valuable? Please like, share it with your friends and put a comment in the box below. Much love

Did you enjoy this article?
Share
the
Love
Get Free Updates

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *