If you’ve been reading my posts you’ll be aware that I am a great advocate for date nights irrespective of how long you and your partner have been together. By that I mean scheduling in quality time for you and your partner or spouse to spend quality time together on a regular basis.
In one of my recent posts I stressed the importance of these dates being placed into your calendar so that they happen –and just to be clear these are times when you and your partner (so no kids or close friends) spend quality time together actively enjoying one another’s company and sharing quality time together– just as you did in the early days of dating.
These date nights however like anything else in life are best when spiced up with some variety. While I agree that it’s great to share a nice meal together at a local or special restaurant, it’s important that these time together have an element of variety – so mix things up a bit – catch a movie together or go for a quiet stroll – talking and laughing together and getting reconnected after the busyness of the lives most of us leave.
Anticipating spending an intimate time together can be half the fun. But don’t forget to add variety to ways you spend time together. Add an element of mystery or magic to your dates, an unexpected surprise or a variety of activities… And if surprises aren’t your thing, why not take turns in choosing how you might spend the time together? Add an element of fun! Make date nights a bit of a game or a competition? Where will we go next? What do you want to do? Take turns in the planning and overall organisation! Remember the aim of the date nights is to add sparkle into the relationship. Too much routine and date nights soon lose their lustre.
My suggestion to you is to get imaginative with your date nights and spice them up with variety and anticipation.
Here are a few suggestions to consider:
Lunch Time Dates
There is something very decadent about meeting your loved one for a mid-week lunch date- up town or down…and having an hour together just stopping and sharing time together. I often wonder why this is so? I know when I worked in a corporate setting lunch times were usually spent doing domestic chores or worse grabbing a quick bite to eat and then racing back to the office to continue working. If I did take a longer break it somehow felt so decadent.
It was not unusual for me to take a client to a restaurant and spend several hours getting to know them better and crystallising the business relationship and in those 2- 4 hour lunches the business relationship became so much stronger….but I rarely did the same with my partner, then spouse.
I remember the first time we did have lunch together mid-week and a work week for both of us. I met him in the city at his office and we walked through the lunch time crowds to a very upscale restaurant in the heart of the city. I had no idea where we were going but was taken back when I realised that this was the restaurant he took his key clients to! It was a boutique restaurant with an awesome menu and amazing service. I felt so spoilt and so special!
We spent two and half hours unconscious of anyone else or anything else but ourselves. It was a great start for meet ups over lunch every few months.
The next lunch time meet up date was in stark contrast to the first. A new sandwich outlet had set up on the ground floor of the building adjacent to the office block where my partner worked. The sandwich bar prided itself on the number and styles of bread it offered. All freshly baked on the premises – and sandwiches all made to ordered. As a foodie, my husband had been coming home every night telling me of the latest taste sensation / combo that he had tried that day and of the amazing selection of breads on offer…When could I come in so that I could experience it myself?
So the following Wednesday I again met my husband at his office and together we went downstairs to the sandwich bar, called the ‘Daily Bread’. It was a tiny affair with a growing city reputation. I looked at the array of breads on offer and the amazing ingredients and suggested that my partner make 2 different selections that we share. That done we walked back up to his office and spread our picnic out on his desk! Geoff had also bought a yummy chocolate slice for us to share as a treat! 50 minutes later we were both at our respective desks having shared a very special moment together and both feeling very loved up!
On another occasion I came to his office with a picnic and we walked to a nearby park, sat in the sun and chatted…Holding hands as we left his office building and walked the city streets. Very special indeed!
So think about how you can have some daytime dates – weekend or week days dates. Just doing something special together!
Dates At Home!
There’s nothing in the rule book to suggest that a date has to be ‘going out’! Dates nights as I’ve mentioned before are about making quality time to connect with one another – just as you did when you were dating – and in that process to deepen and enrich the connection with your spouse or partner.
There’s only three rules to follow – dates need to be scheduled in, regular and include just the two of you – so no kids, no friends and no family!
Have a date night at home – if there are young kids – have a date night after the children have gone to bed, or if the children are older, set them some activities to do and then let them know that you are your partner or spouse are having a ‘date night’ – time to yourselves.
Then plan a romantic meal together – either cook together informally or sit down to a well set candle lit dinner – It’s up to you how far you want to go with the planning but whatever you do make sure that this is special, couple time! Sharing a pizza and a bottle of wine together can be as romantic as a candlelit dinner for two. It’s the range of experiences and the specialness that is critical here.
I’ve done evening picnics sitting on the floor together in the lounge room, lamp light and romantic music in the background, and a spread fit for a king! It was fun to share the meal and then just to lie back in one another’s arms – taking time out to chat about our day and plan the next romantic interlude in our lives together.
So get creative! Have fun! And spice up those date nights! And if you have enjoyed this post, please like, share and comment in the box provided below. Much love!