In a rut? Need some inspiration? Here’s a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing – to build a better date night experience- Turn up the heat with your partner using some of these ideas – tailor-made to suit varying tastes — and budgets.
While date nights are critical to maintaining the sparkle in a relationship – deepening the intimacy and fun and coming up with playful date night ideas can be challenging and especially so when the individuals in the relationship enjoy different pursuits and approaches.
Dr Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and a relationship expert emphasises the importance of revving up your romantic routine and in particular creating date nights that meet the romantic and personality traits of both of you.
A well-regarded sexologist and relationship expert Schwartz designed a compatibility profile aimed at gauging the compatibility of men and women in relationships, which was adopted by a well-known on line dating service provider. Given that individuals make up relationships Schwartz suggests that it’s wise to consider the key differences in your personalities when you’re thinking of things to do on that all important date!
How are you Energised?
A key factor to consider is where and how you and your partner get re-energised! For instance I get re-energised being with people, going to art galleries, food markets and the theatre. As such I am considered an extrovert as my energy source is derived from an external source -from stimulation and experiences external to me. My ex-husband on the other hand re-energised by being alone- taking time out to regroup and sink into himself. A classic introvert in personality profiling terms!
That said he was the absolute charmer at conferences, work functions and when entertaining….it didn’t take me long to realise that that was a role he had learnt to play for business reasons and while he was good at it, energy wise it drained him. That role did not come naturally to him – it was learnt behaviour!
So let’s look at a few couples and their different characteristics to get your creative juices going and to see what inspires you to create fun and interesting date nights in your relationship.
You’re an Extrovert. He’s an Introvert. Date Suggestion: A Performance or Event
Attending an event together be it a concert, live theatre, or a club meets the needs of both extroverts and introverts. As Schwartz points out ‘You’re out among other people, but it’s intimate – as you’re listening or laughing together.’
You’re a Planner. He loves Surprises. Date Suggestion: Find a Fabulous View
Chill a bottle of wine! Pack a picnic- and picnic rug and without telling him where you’re going whisk him away to a beautiful location or lookout point. Be creative – every town has several beauty spots! Don’t tell him where you’re going! Up the stakes! Schwartz would suggest ‘You can even blindfold your partner and make him guess what part of town you’re in!’ Or give him some clues that he has to unravel to establish the final destination!
I’m a planner! One of my worst experiences ever was a dinner party being held to celebrate my recent engagement. It turned out that my then fiancé with the assistance of my closest friend had been plotting and planning an engagement surprise dinner party for 16 of my closest friends! Beautiful food cooked with love and matching wines! Now tell me before hand about that and I’ll salivate for weeks – but this was a surprise! My darling had told me that we were going to the Opera – dinner before hand and a romantic night for two – but we first needed to drop into my friend’s house to deliver some mail. So far! So good! Dressed in my finest I quickly knocked on her door, mail in hand while Geoff kept the engine going – or so I thought.
House in darkness I heard Libby call out – ‘The door is open – I’m in the kitchen! Come on in!’
‘No we’re racing Libs! Dinner and then the Opera’ I replied. ‘NO time!’
“I can’t come out’ she answered…’Got something on the stove!’ So impatiently I ran into the hall, switched on the light to be greeted with 13 people seated at the dinner table, faces beaming and their yells of SURPRISE!
Well surprised I was! Delighted I was not! Here were 14 of my closest and dearest assembled here to celebrate my engagement and I had known nothing about it…I spent the evening in shock! While I appreciated the sentiment I didn’t overly enjoy the evening! I felt that for all the effort that had gone into the evening I’d been short changed. That’s when I realised how much of my pleasure as a planner comes from planning – thinking about the event- revisiting and enjoying it way before it actually happens! Surprises take all that away! To add to that I had spent weeks thinking about the Opera that we were going to see – the spectacle the music, the costumes and the splendour of it all! So when there is a Planner and a Surprise Lover in the house – make sure both needs are catered to!
You Go with the Flow. He likes to take Charge. Date Suggestion: Let Him!
Give him full reign! Let him plan and organise the date and whatever he comes up with give him positive feedback – Cool! If there is anything that did not flow for you tell him what you loved about it! Concentrate on what you want him to hear – the positives about the date!
You Like Routine. He prefers New Things. Date Suggestion: Split the Day or take Turns About!
Have some regular activities or places that you like to frequent and add to that on an agreed frequency something new – so mixing things up a bit. Over time the new may in fact become the familiar or regular places to frequent. If you’re having more than an hour or two together think about ways that you can combine the familiar with something new, rather than an either/or.
So frequent somewhere familiar, like a local bar or coffee shop and then go to a spot that is new, a sporting event or restaurant or café. As Schwartz’s puts it, that way ‘You’ll feel comfortable and he won’t get bored.’
Well I hope that this has given you some new and novel ways to think about and plan your date nights. It is after all about having fun together, spending time reconnecting and deepening the affection for one another. So go have fun!
And if you have enjoyed this article, please like, share or add a comment in the box below. Much Love!