Did you know that the average couple spends less than 5 minutes a day connecting meaningfully with one another? By meaningfully I mean exchanging words or touching one another with loving intent – with the sole purpose of connecting or deepening the relationship in a meaningful way!
Less than 5 mins per day!!!!!
Compare this to when you were dating? Do you remember the hours spent talking and connecting with one another when you were dating? What happened? Where did all that intent for physical closeness, and sharing news of one another’s day go? And more importantly what impact does such a small amount of time given to meaningful connection do to the longevity and intimacy in a relationship?
The Importance of Date Nights
By now you are aware of my conviction that ALL relationships need to schedule in date nights! And don’t groan! If you don’t subscribe to this belief, you have to question why you’d neglect to spend time strengthening your relationship and deepening its meaning. So if you don’t subscribe to this belief, answer this question. When did you and your partner last spend quality time together? – Just the two of you alone enjoying one another’s company? And NO doing the grocery shopping together doesn’t count unless of course you did something together en route or on the way home – Something special! Something that was not associated with doing household chores!
Up for a Challenge?
Here’s a challenge for you! – Spice up your daily routine with a few 15 minute dates! And watch the transformation. In the ideal world a 15 minute connection per day will alter the dynamics of your relationship considerably.
That said, be warned! Conversation topics and rules apply! The conversation and intentions are to enjoy the moment together – Share news, feelings, plan other date nights or express any concerns. So no talking about the kids, the chores to be done, family commitments or any other responsibility! Agreed?
And if that sounds a little daunting…Let’s look at some of the things that you could do!
At Home Coffee Dates
A no kids zone 15 minute coffee date!
Take it standing up ready to go or seated as a brief reprieve from the day ahead. Either way wake up each morning and plan to spend 15 minutes over coffee chatting and connecting with one another – pre kids or a kids’ no go zone!
A Glass of Wine or an Aperitif
Plan a 15 minute time together over a glass of wine or an aperitif pre dinner, where you connect with each other over the day and how you’re feeling. Make sure that the focus of the together time is on CONNECTING WITH ONE ANOTHER – sharing how you’re feeling and showing your appreciation for one another. This is not a time for discussing chores or what needs to be done around the home!
Take a Shower or a Bath Together
Making the ritual longer than usual! Spend the time soaping one another up. And then rinsing one another off! Being as playful and as mischievous as the time allows. Towel one another down and enjoy the delight you both feel from being tactile and playful – with one another!
A very loving gesture if time permits is to have your partner brush your hair afterwards!
Give Your Partner a Shoulder Rub or a Back Massage
Everyone loves being pampered! This is a great way to connect and show how much you care! And let’s make one thing clear, this is not about the quality of the massage! It’s about the time you’re spending with one another, and the connection you’re making – accentuated with the power of loving touch! Just 15 minutes in service this way is a great way to bring a sense of intimacy and show how much you care.
Take an Early Morning Walk or Bike Ride Together
And spend the time talking to one another about what’s on your mind – how you’re feeling. Just 15 minutes of togetherness time!
Read to One Another
One of the most romantic times I recall in a relationship that lasted several years, is that my then boyfriend would read to me in bed. Just before the lights were turned off…He’d read to me! I was living in London at the time and he was an avid reader. Having been brought up in Africa he loved to keep abreast of the latest research and discoveries detailing the habits and habitat of the lesser known African mammals and primates. To that end he would have scientific journals beside the bed – and before the lights were put out he would read to me from these journals…
…Now I am not into science let alone the mating or communication rituals of silverbacks or baboons – but my head nestled against his chest!!! His desire to share with me something that was so dear to his heart was truly one of the most magical experiences I have shared with a partner! Whether intended or not – it certainly put me in the mood for some very passionate love making when the lights were turned down!
Think about it. It’s no wonder that relationships lose their zing when there’s little conscious effort made to keeping the connection alive and loving on a regular albeit daily basis!
The Power of 15
15 minutes invested each day in connecting together means that you have tripled the national average or time most couples spend in meaningful connections per day…and that means tripled your odds of your relationship going from good to great! Or from sagging to bragging!
Combine these small intentions with regular date nights and just watch your relationship shift into the next gear! Deeper, more meaningful, more loving than ever before. So go have fun! And if you have enjoyed this post please share or put a comment below…